Thursday, November 8, 2012

When It's My Time

I'd dare to say that every person deals with fear in their own ways. Some people run from what they are afraid of while some try to confront it head on. I know for me, I'm usually in the first group. If I'm afraid of something I do everything in my power to get as far away from it as humanly possible. Like spiders for instance. I feel sorry for my future husband because God knows how many spiders he's going to have to kill. Or shots. I already know the misery I've put my mom through being scared of needles. I will beg, plead, and cry in order to avoid things like this. But there's one fear that is completely unescapable.
I don't know about you but death used to be the scariest thing. I feel like many people buy into this fear of death when really, there is nothing to fear at all if you are a believer. There is hope even in death.
I don't remember if it was the earthly aspect of dying or the eternal. I know that the earthly aspect still fascinates me. Not like a creepy murderer fascination but a fascination on how I die will make me be remembered. Let me explain, I feel like if someone dies on the battlefield, it effects the way that people remember them. Likewise, if someone commits suicide, it changes the way that the family remembers them. I want to know what connotation my death will leave. I've honestly gotten over how I'm going to die though. Sure, I'd like to know, but it honestly doesn't scare me anymore because I remember that God has a plan for me.
The other thing I've always wanted to know is how my death will effect others. I'd hope that no one questions their faith in God because of my death. Whether I die today or in 80 years, I want my family to remember that God has a plan and after I die I will be in heaven. I want to know what my funeral will be like. I've thought about this a lot actually. I want to have sunflowers and a lace dress on. I want it to be a celebration and remind people of the good things in life. I want to have my favorite foods there and I want there to be a time of worship and not like "Amazing Grace". I want like "10,000 Reasons". I don't know how it will end up, but that's ok. I don't have to fear that either.
Lastly, I worried about eternity. The moment I put my faith in Christ, I no longer had to fear that. I am saved by the grace of God and that is more than enough. I consider myself blessed.
My biggest fear is no longer a fear of mine. That doesn't get to happen for a lot of people.

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