It feels like I'm starting all over again. There's a blank page in front of me and I get to scribble down my thoughts, desires, and dreams. I get to reinvent the system of my life, but yet I'm stuck in the Prequel. I'm stuck in losing some undeveloped characters in order to create new ones and I'm scared that the new ones might overshadow some of the old ones who used to be shining beacons into dim or extinct candles...
Maybe I should stop speaking in metaphor and just be real.
I'm scared of how my friendships will change. I have gotten to the point of acceptance now (and that's always the first step...isn't it?) My friendships WILL change. I'm just a little concerned about to what extent and the even scarier question...HOW SOON?
When a prequel ends, you put it down...wait about a year and then pick right up where it left off, but I'm not getting a break. I feel like a writer who just published a completed work only to turn around and start leaking the next book. I am constantly living and constantly changing. This means that my story and life change to, but I kind of wish I could have that year between books where I could take a deep breath in and out and live in the past for a few moments, but it's time.
Time has come for me to put down the old book, stop caring about the drama and insecurities and start, or maybe just continue, listening to the words of God. It's time for me to let Him lead the way and carry the light into the darkness and confusion in my life. Don't get me wrong...CHAPTER 1 is going to be awesome, but I just don't know exactly where it will leave me to go with CHAPTER 2. Oh well, it will be okay. I will cast my anxieties onto the Lord and know that He is God above ALL things.
Stay tuned as I start to write....
Chapter 1: My journey out of high school
|Ryan and I at prom!|
|We walk away from the past...|
|Justin, Holli, Rachel, Tori, Ryan, Lindsey, Jordan, Vanessa, and Jacob|
ALL amazing people to spend prom with!
|We will look back on high school and smile because we lived every second of it.|
|Since freshman year, these girls have stuck by my side.|
(Before graduation picture)
|Now to move on into the rest of our lives!|
Love you always.
Laying Down Myself