Special Request

Well, my best friend Holli looks at me today and told me that I haven't written a blog post in a long time and you know what...she's right. I said I would start getting back into the habit of writing on here more and to be honest, I had good intentions too. I just feel like now I have to filter myself. I have definitely been struggling a lot with negative talk. There are things going on and people around me who have stirred in me a desire to say ungracious and just plain right rude things. (I am supposed to be being honest here so for those of you who would like to say negative things about me because I struggle with these things and I am a Christian..go ahead..that's what the comment section is for.) I haven't wanted to give myself too much freedom to run so I have been limiting and filtering the things that I post on the internet. I finally feel like I might have a grip on myself and the situation now so I will continue (as long as Holli keeps asking (; ) to write this blog. I do feel like it is important for me to share my triumphs and my struggles because later in life I will look back and maybe be able to reflect on some of my stories. Some things might just amaze me and I'm sure, more than once, I'll laugh at how foolish I sound. I also just really enjoy writing and I am really happy to finally be over my "grumpy phase" and feel comfortable enough to continue publishing these blogs.

This blog isn't going to be long, however I promise to post another one on Thursday or Friday depending on my schedule...maybe even tomorrow if you're lucky.

I just want to say one thing that helped me get through the moments where I wanted to say and think negative things. I think that it is important that we associate with people who are going to encourage us and lift us up, however sometimes those same people are going to have to step into your life and correct you. Proverbs talks about the wise man who accepts godly council and the foolish man who rejects it, but I would like to give some equally biblical advice for the advice giver, because I know on multiple occasions I have found myself failing at this. Always speak with love. Whether you are lifting someone up or rebuking them, do it with love. I'm sure some of you are thinking about how that could be possible to rebuke someone out of love, but if the intentions of your heart are to put the other person down and humiliate them, you have the wrong intentions, however if you are a good friend of this person and you see them succumbing to peer pressure in certain areas, you have a duty to that friend because you love them so much and would never want to see them end up hurt, to advise them to come back to the Lord. Of course, you can not say it like that, but if you are really their friend, you will know how to handle the situation.

I want to thank a moment to my friends who sympathized with me on my struggles, but did not encourage me in my negative behavior. It is because I see you all living out your faith day-to-day that I was able to realize that God has better plans for me than meaningless and worthless chatter. James says something revolutionary. Just as a huge ship is steered by a little rudder and a horse by a bit in it's mouth, the tongue has the potential to control the body. It can lead you in the wrong direction, or it could be a tool that helps you praise the only one worth praising.

I know that I have failed, but I will keep trying.

Thanks for being patient with me! Love always <3

Kenzie Mason
Laying Down Myself

Silence is Key

I'll be honest. I wish some of the things I said and did today, I could take back only because I know it wasn't pleasing to the Lord.

Colossians 3:12-14 (Message)

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. 

AND REGARDLESS OF WHAT ELSE YOU PUT ON, WEAR LOVE. 

It's your basic, all-purpose garment. 

NEVER BE WITHOUT IT.

Wow. . . talk about humbling. I think of the things that I've said today that haven't been graced with love. Instead it has been stained and polluted with anger. 

I'm sorry for the lack of discipline and self-control. Those things are not from the Lord. Let God grant me the strength and the courage to follow His will. . . and stay silent in the face of adversity.

Kenzie Mason
Laying Down Myself

I Haven't Forgotten

Wow.. I haven't posted on here in a while. Sorry about that, but I haven't forgotten. I think about blogging almost every day, but never sit down and relax long enough to do it. I guess I'm starting to feel the extreme circumstances all around me. I can hear the clock tic-tocking away as if tomorrow isn't another new adventure with new struggles and new triumphs. This is a big year. I have all the big senior experiences like senior trip and prom. I graduate. Choose a college. Move out of my house...my home. Turn eighteen. Possibly go to a new city. Start a new day-to-day. And keep God number one amidst all the chaos.

Deep Breath.

It's not my will that I'm living every day. If it is, I've failed to understand the world around me, my Creator, and my purpose. I live to serve God and every day I find myself with lots of failures to set at His feet. Every day, He reassures me that He loves me even when my actions don't prove my love for Him. I give Him all of me, the brokenness and failures included, because that's all I have and yet He says it's enough. I wake up the next day realizing the fullness of His grace and again I decide that that day is His to do with what He will. Even that day, I still fail. The cycle continues, but as God starts working more and more in my life, I see the places that He's saved me from. I see how obedience takes away the possibilities for regret and heartbreak. So far, it hasn't been perfect, it will never be, but it's been real.

{As I walk into the valley ahead, I will not fear for God is my strength and my courage and though I will daily fail, He never will. His eyes are of love and grace to me and He calls me His daughter. I am truly blessed. His ways will be my ways and those who He loves, I will also love. To those He shows grace, I will likewise show grace.}

I'm sorry that I haven't taken the time to write, but I don't want to miss a single moment. Every moment that I spend, I want it to shine a light on the reason that I'm living. I forgot just how good this was for me. Sometimes I need to sit back and count my blessings.

Until next time!

Laying Down Myself
Kenzie Mason