Babysitting Blessing

The quiet house around me seems empty and lifeless. The little giggles and squeals and even the animal noises are missed in this vastness of silence. I've always said I didn't like kids and I'm not kidding. I really didn't, but now, I'm not sure that I like it, but it's become more normal. I'm sitting here waiting for the crazy boys to get home from camp and almost in a way, missing them. I saw them three days ago and left them with smiles on their faces and an eagerness in their eyes. I know I haven't been good about wanting to be with them, but that's all changed now. 

I see that God is using this in my life. In the past few months of watching these energetic little ones my patience has grown tremendously, it has given me an appreciation for those stay-at-home moms and shown me the good parts and the bad parts of healthy discipline. It has made me have more respect for the way that my mom and dad have raised me and let me appreciate the maturity of my younger brother. 

I can't say that this experience hasn't made me crazy at times or that it makes me want to be a stay-at-home mom or even a teacher, but I can say that I find myself growing in love for boys who originally, honestly, I couldn't stand. 

Yes, I will probably still complain time to time, but I see now that God is working through me in this home. Where prompts like "What do you say?" used to be necessary I now hear an immediate "Thank you, Kenzie" and even an occasional "Yes ma'am" or "May I..." I have seen that they are asking questions that make me think of just how wonderful the Father is like, "Why is that cloud shaped like a dinosaur?" And I smile. I know why it's shaped like a dinosaur...God gave me this opportunity to say that He made it that way because He knows just how much they love dinosaurs.  

I like watching them run around in the backyard in their swim trunks with water guns. The smiles on their face are huge and their giggles intermingle with the sounds of the wind blowing. Their eyes shine with glee as they pounce around the backyard trying to spray me with water guns as I soak them with the hose. I love it. I love their smiles and having times where I get to enjoy them. I don't like putting them in time out or getting my serious face, but I know that it's necessary and it's funny to me how quickly they forgive me for getting on them. 

I've found myself blessed and excited about watching my own kids grow. It's funny to watch them make discoveries, learn how to conquer writing letters, and help make their own lunch. I know that watching my children achieve these milestones will be extremely exciting. I feel blessed to know that a family has invited me into their home to experience these milestones with their kids. 

Then I hear Daulton's little voice echo through the living room "Helllooooo" and I hear Hayden's excited footsteps run through the front door. Finally, they're.home and ready for another day. 

Rise Up

There are times that it feels like God shows up and this week has been full of those experiences. From watching people who are struggling with addictions firmly decide that God is worth more to them than alcohol or drugs, to seeing how people finally grasped the hand of their Creator and allowed Him to pull them out of pits that they have fallen into, it's been a week of God showing up. It's funny because even in little things like accidentally getting the wrong leader has showed his goodness and omniscience. I think it's crazy. God doesn't just work in big ways. He works in quiet conversations on the beach where someone who you never expected to have anything to pour into you, makes you realize the extent of His grace. It's funny because conversations in hallways, past curfew, make you more willing and able to pray for someone you love. It's not like He only works through miracles. He works through repetition. The Holy Spirit lays things on people's hearts and these people hand deliver messages of God to you. I've seen it before, but I have never seen the extent to which I saw it this week. I'm just saying. . . Wake up! Expect great things from God and He will show up. He changes lives. Grab His hand that he has extended to you for so long and RISE UP!

Kenzie Mason
Laying Down Myself

What If...

I can't help but think that everyone has days (or nights) where "What Ifs" cloud your mind. I hope it's not just me searching through this meaningless and pointless fog. I hate to wish confusion on people...and I don't really mean it that way. If I could, I would choose to be out of the confusion rather than pulling you all in ( you're welcome (; ) Anywho...that's beside the point.

I guess I just feel like I'm the only one thinking back years or months or days and thinking "What if I handled that situation with more grace and dignity?" Or "What if that person never came into my life?" Or maybe even "What if I didn't struggle with that sin in that one instant? Would it change who I am today?" 

I feel like these are such meaningless and pointless questions. They're gone. Done. Over. Never able to be taken back. 

I'm not saying all "What Ifs" are bad. I think a lot of them are GREAT. You just have to make them that way. For example:

What if tomorrow I show someone Christ's love?

What if someone comes to Christ because I stopped and listened to them talk? 

What if someone who feels lonely needs me to be a friend to them? Will I take the challenge? 

What if I put away my selfish, ignorant pride and said those words that need to be said and heard..."I'm sorry". 

Just think about it...What if we changed our view on "What Ifs"?

Kenzie Mason
Laying Down Myself

My Graduation Speech

I was class president and with that position, I got the honor of giving the "Welcome" speech. So it might be kind of awkward to read, but I hope that for those of you who weren't there and kind of wanted to know, this can give you an idea.

It was our very first day of school. Most of us don't remember back that far, but parents, this was a time when you saw our long journey begin. I'm sure that most of us were kind of excited and kind of scared, but we knew that with your hand in our hand, we would be safe. You walked us to the classroom. Then you blinked. All of a sudden, you're here in this sanctuary to celebrate a day that you couldn't have imagined and a day, that as students, we have dreamed of. In thirteen years, so many things have changed for us. The first day we were walked into school by our moms and dads, but at the end of it all, we drove away on our own. Now this doesn't mean that we have outgrown our parents. Today is the day that we celebrate the culmination of thirteen years of being molded and developed. We are the products of God, our families, and our friends. You all have been there to be the safe haven amidst many a storm, love and support when we needed it, encouragement when we were doing well, and correction when we weren't. We thank all you for your support throughout our journey and ask you to continue to support us as we go through this day and as we move on into the rest of our lives. So without further adieu, families, friends, and fellow students, I am honored to welcome you to Whitefield Academy's Graduation Ceremony for the Class of 2013. 

That's it. Crazy that I had the honor of addressing my class, their families and friends, and my family and friends. It was a GREAT honor. I love my class and I love Whitefield.

CONGRATULATIONS CLASS OF 2013

Kenzie Mason
Laying Down Myself

Chapter 1...

No, I'm not writing a book and giving you a sneak preview. I know I would never finish it and like many people with the unpublished Stephanie Meyer's fifth book of Twilight, you would be held in suspense only to be disappointed by the never completed work. Now that I openly admitted my desire to read the fifth book of the Twilight Saga (because after reading the other four three times, they get kind of boring and you start feeling like you have no life and deserve to do more productive things with your days), I will continue on to my actual meaning for this post.

It feels like I'm starting all over again. There's a blank page in front of me and I get to scribble down my thoughts, desires, and dreams. I get to reinvent the system of my life, but yet I'm stuck in the Prequel. I'm stuck in losing some undeveloped characters in order to create new ones and I'm scared that the new ones might overshadow some of the old ones who used to be shining beacons into dim or extinct candles...
Maybe I should stop speaking in metaphor and just be real.
I'm scared of how my friendships will change. I have gotten to the point of acceptance now (and that's always the first step...isn't it?) My friendships WILL change. I'm just a little concerned about to what extent and the even scarier question...HOW SOON?
When a prequel ends, you put it down...wait about a year and then pick right up where it left off, but I'm not getting a break. I feel like a writer who just published a completed work only to turn around and start leaking the next book. I am constantly living and constantly changing. This means that my story and life change to, but I kind of wish I could have that year between books where I could take a deep breath in and out and live in the past for a few moments, but it's time.
Time has come for me to put down the old book, stop caring about the drama and insecurities and start, or maybe just continue, listening to the words of God. It's time for me to let Him lead the way and carry the light into the darkness and confusion in my life. Don't get me wrong...CHAPTER 1 is going to be awesome, but I just don't know exactly where it will leave me to go with CHAPTER 2. Oh well, it will be okay. I will cast my anxieties onto the Lord and know that He is God above ALL things.
Stay tuned as I start to write....

Chapter 1: My journey out of high school

Ryan and I at prom! 

We walk away from the past...

Justin, Holli, Rachel, Tori, Ryan, Lindsey, Jordan, Vanessa, and Jacob
ALL amazing people to spend prom with! 

We will look back on high school and smile because we lived every second of it.

Since freshman year, these girls have stuck by my side.
(Before graduation picture)

Now to move on into the rest of our lives!
Love you always.

Kenzie Mason
Laying Down Myself

Awake.

I'm laying in bed wide awake at 1:30 in the morning. I have school tomorrow and am desperately in need of sleep, but instead of having a clear mind and resting peacefully, I have a list of mistakes running through my mind. There are things I've done wrong in my life and as I lay here, his voice whispers in my ear. "You're a failure. Who would be proud of you? If people knew, would they look at you the same? You are worthless. No one loves you." Satan has a way of speaking into our mistakes and letting us think that these things define us. He has a way of making us feel guilt for a debt that has already been paid for and wiped off your record. 

That's right. He's lying to you. He comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He steals your joy and peace, kills your hopes and ambitions, and destroys you from the inside out, but only if you let him. Satan is stronger than we are often, but when God is on your side, you have the one who has conquered the thief and murderer. He was victorious that day when He rose from the dead. In doing so, he wiped away our sins so that we do not live as slaves, bound by the chains of sin, but free in the love and grace of God. 

Tonight, in my weariness, I claim His freedom. Satan can not tell me who I am; I already know who I am. I am a daughter of God and He adopted me into His family. He chose me before the foundations of the world were made. He thought of me when He sent His son to earth to die. He paid for my sins with innocent blood. I am free, not because I deserve it, I don't. Satan's right about that. I am undeserving of the grace, but that doesn't take away from the fact that I have had it freely offered to me. I am grateful now because I can go to sleep in peace knowing that it's all a lie. I sleep knowing that I have hope for tomorrow. 

Goodnight, Late Night Bloggers

Kenzie Nickole
Laying Down Myself

And the Countdown Begins

I am so excited for this next step in my life. I know I haven't posted on here in a while, but stuff has been so crazy! I'm sorry (: I really am trying. . . be patient with me! I'm only human, friends. I figured I'd take this time to catch you up on some stuff.

1) 2 Days Ago: I enjoyed spending four months with my boyfriend.
I don't know that I have ever talked about him on here. . .so SURPRISE! But it was a really fun day and I realized, once again, how blessed I am by his friendship. Being able to know that he loves God and his family is just amazing. He is a great encourager and we have fun doing stupid little things together, so yea. I don't know really what to say, but it was a good day for me and I smiled all day long so I thought I might as well share it. (:

2) 2 Days Until: My final college decision has to be made.
BUT! Unlike usual, I did not procrastinate and have made a decision. . . DRUM ROLL PLEASE!

I'm going to THE UNIVERSITY OF  LOUISVILLE.

I am so excited that this decision has been made and I am ready to be there already! I will be in Speed School with the intentions of studying Electrical Engineering. I hope to go through and get a Bachelors and Masters degree. I really am excited about all the adventures that are in store! I know God will be with me as I walk through these next years in my life.

3) 9 Days Until: My first AP Test for the year.
I'm nervous...it's Calculus...To be honest, I can't test out of it for Speed School sooo it's not necessary that I pass, but it really would be a confidence booster if I could just get a 4. Please, if you happen to think of me, pray for me to have clarity that day with minimal to no distractions. Pray that I recall what I have studied all year. I really would appreciate it! Then the next day I have to come in and take ANOTHER test :'( WAHHHH!!! But this one really counts! If I test out of this, I can bipass English in college. That would be a huge blessing. Again, I would love to have your prayers with me!

4) 19 Days Until: PROM!
To many, this seems insignificant, but to me, this is so exciting. I love prom just because last year, I had such a big role in planning it and I can't wait to see what the juniors this year have done. I love events; I love getting dressed up; I love dancing. What about prom don't I love? Plus, this year, I have a date. I am so excited! It's probably the last time that I will wear a long formal dress until the day I get married (that'll be a while ya'll, don't worry), so it's kind of a big deal in my mind. So anyways! I'll try to post pictures when I can (: Remind me if I don't!

5) 26 Days Until: GRADUATION!
I'm nervous, excited, happy, scared, emotional, and pretty much everything in between. I'm excited for summer and college, but I'm scared of the change. I'm stressed because I have to speak, and the last time I did that, there was a fire :O (If you say you want it, I'll write out the story, but for now, I'll just move on). I know it will be bittersweet to walk across that stage and to see my classmates walk as well. It will be a huge blessing, but so scary. But, I think I'm ready (:

So, there ya go! There's what you've missed hearing about! God really has been blessing me in huge ways! I hope that you all are doing great and guys, I love to hear from you. Your emails and messages have been great, but REMEMBER, you can subscribe! Thanks ya'll! Love you! <3

Laying Down Myself
Kenzie Nickole